BEAUTY & DA BEAST

So I just spoke to a girlfriend of mine to find out how her life was and stuff just cos I did not manage to spend time with her the last 2 months. Anyways, what I found out was absoulutely shocking and I hate to say this but I'm glad you left him.

And so the story goes...

My grilfriend, lets name her Trish (such a trampy name, but I really can't think of anything now... and no, I don't wanna use Mary or Lily...) has a boyfriend of which they have been together since JC, I think... anyway, that's not important. The important thing is that Trish is a tall, slim, fair and beautiful young lady with lotsa guys chasing after her. Whilst her BF, now ex, on the other hand is a monster. They are practically like erm... 'Beauty & Da Beast' Trish's BF was a fat, 100 plus kg controlling man. You know what he would do? When Trish is out wih friends, Da Beast would call her hp once every hourly, or maybe I'm exagerrating, okie, once every two hours. It doesn't make it sound all that good either.

Just a side, Trish told me that Da Beast is rather good at running. Like he would get Silver for his IPPT or something. Man, I just corrupted my brain when I thought of Da beast running. Imagine a 100 plus kg man running, arms flapping, fats smacking, boops swaying. Sweat spurting out of armpit with every step jogged, giving out little farts as he tries so hard to propel himself forwrd toward the finishing line... O.M.F.G! See, I just disgusted your mind as well right? Its all right, no need to thank me for that...

So anyways, to continue, he calls her every so often just to check that she is not out with another guy friend. Just to check who she is with and where she is now or what is she doing. Then of course when some irritating monster calls you ever so often, you will get ever so irritated and not pick it up right? Like pretend you never hear the phone or that you were in the toilet shitting or something. But NO, the monster never stops calling. When Trish is out watching a late night movie and not able to pick up the phone, Monster will keep calling and calling and if her still can't get her on the phone, he would send a message to threathen to call her home. Note that this was 3-4am in the morning.

Why would your boyfriend, who is in a right frame of mind wanna take it out on his GF's peacefully sleeping family members. Don't you just think that the big fat ugly monster is being childish and unreasonable? Never mind that. So Monster wants to keep princess by his side but how can princess love a fat ugly controlling monster plus the fact that there were so many other prince wooing her as well.

So isn't it obvious that if Monster wants to have princes by his side forever, he should change his attitude and slim down? Like that at least he can compete with other prince right? But NO, monster instead of slimming down went on an eating spree, at one go, he can eat up a meal meant for four. To give a little credit to monster, he does jog as well to try and slim down a little but his jogging time and eating time weighs 1:4. Liddat how to slim down? Huh? Huh? You exprian...Xssprain... (Remember to use the voice of the Meepok man when you say Xssprain... k?)

So now princess found a new prince. She's happy with the prince. Not too sure if prince if handsome but at least prince is not fat and ugly and controlling (Not too sure about the controlling part either). Anyways, the important point is that Princess is happy with prince. So she decided to break it off with monster once and for all. But Monster was not ready to let go. Monster was feeling sore that princess found her prince to live happily ever after and he is all alone in his dungeon. So monster decided to call and harrass the princess. He called her in the hopes of psycho-ing princess not to be together with prince but with him. But princess refused to pick up her phone. Princess refuses to talk to Monster.

When princess ignored the calls from monster, in all his rage, Monster messaged Princess, 'You slut, where are you?'. That's not all, on another occasion, monster called princess a 'fuck face' (not knowing that he probably lives up to the name rather than princess does). Not that fuck face means a beautiful face you feel like having sex with (in the context of princess I think she is a beautiful face)but in the context of monster, it probably just means that he has one fucking ass ugly face.

Now children, please learn that if a girl goes back to you after you've called her a slut or fuck face, there are only 2 reasons. The first one could be because that the girl is 'fan jian' and love you so much that she does not mind being called degrading names. The second reason could be that you still have use for her. Maybe you are rich and she needs to satisfy her material cravings? Its an either or thing...

So when monster calls her degrading names, if he really thinks that princess will still go back to him, he is so wrong. So damn bloody wrong...

To end this short story, Princess and prince still living together happily, hopefully its ever after and monster is probably licking his sorry balls whilst still praying that princess might come back to him one day... I'm not too sure about this ending though... But it'll end this way I guess...

If you really believe that Da Beast will turn in to a handsome prince as the last rose petal falls, then I guess its time you go back into fairytale land and sleep your ass off, you naive, immature people...

I do really hope that Monster does not read this story lest he takes out his frustration on me. Come to think of it, I guess I don't really care...

TO QIU CHANG YE

Bleahz... Puposely don't let you listen...

Add-ons: I'm really glad that you are back. And I'm just as happy and excited as you are for the new toy that you've invested in.

XOXO GOSSIP GIRL

HAPPY NIGHTS!

Many have complained and gave feedback that my blog font is too small for visual to the naked eye. Specially for the people who gave kind feedback I have enlarged the font a little for your beady slitted eyes.

Monday's dinner was a meal of total fun and gossips. I met up with colleagues from my ex-hellish company. Out of the five of us, three have left them and two others will tender their resignation letter and leave before mid-december. The dinner was really a session of gossips and bitching about how bad the management is. Until now, they have yet to change which is a total sad case. Anyways, its their own family business who cares if it collapses. Oh, and I heard their staff had a paycut because of some poor economic thing. There are just so many things to say but I really am too lazy to elaborate. I will do try to put up some pictures of dinner night as soon as I get my hands on it.

Yesterday was a huge decision making night for my cousin and her fiance. They finally signed and made payment with the Marriot Hotel to have their solemnisation and wedding dinner there five months from now. I'm just glad that they are happy. I'm helping my jie with all the wedding details and designing of the wedding gown. Besides being the role of the Jie-mei, I was also appointed the role of MC for the night.

I really think that I should start collecting money for my MC stints. End of the year also have one MC stint for another wedding. Okie la, I don't think you need to pay me, depending on how close we are, as long as you have 'Or Ni' for dessert during the dinner, I will gladly do it for free but you have to promise me 2 bowls of 'Or Ni' plus a take-away pack.

Anyways, I promised my Jie a wedding organiser but I just can't seem to find it anywhere at home, so I gladly did up a 15pg long organiser cum checklist for my convenience and for her summary track of the wedding preperations. I am so going to advance in a career within the wedding industry lo. For now, if anyone else needs me for a wedding plan and very detailed checklist, you may approach me. But please do not expect it to be free though. There is always a price to pay, 'sides, haven't you ever heard that there is no such thing as a free lunch?

To end off, I'll just like to say that I'm getting fatter by the day and I FUCKING HATE IT!

With lotsa cellulites.. Ummuacks!

UPDATES!

Dear ardent readers, much apologies for the lack of updates on my possibly dying blog, I have once again risen to the 'update-your-blog-on-an-occasional-basis' occasion. This time round, I blog with a motive. Not an advertising motive but a personal one.

I have fallen in love again with a new digital camera! I know I have fallen in love with many other new camera! But this one, I am so very sure that the love of my life is the Canon Powershot E1 in a damn chio baby pink! Some very creative camera-cover designer has finally tried and succeeded in finding out what a girl really wants in her handbag.

It really isn't just the appearance of the oh-so-retroish-hip casing. The camera is 10mgp CCD which should mean something good, I guess. Not only that, it also has, 4X zoom image stabilizer and teleconvertor, Digic III image processing, Face detection technology, 17 shooting modes, motion detection technology and so many other things that I bet other cute cameras do not have.

Ahhem... Christmas present?
Enough of the love of my life, I just want to make known that I will never ever ever drink packet coffee again! Today's Monday, so as usual, I'm the half conscious pretty office lady, tired from working on SUNDAY! So I decided to drink coffee to perk myself up and not look too much like a dead log. Anyways, to the main point, PACKET COFFEE IS THE WORST THING TO DRINK! It has the worst taste ever and the cup which I used now has the stupid smelly coffee taste. Tried washing it with loads of detergent, left it to soak in hot water for 30mins. Went back to wash it then poured water into to drink only to realise that the 30mins of soaking was of no use at all. My water still taste like coffee lo.. or maybe its my mouth? Sianz...

I wanna blog about a new dress which I just bought and am so proud of. I got a dress which cost me only $55. What's so special about it? It can be worn in over 20 different methods, depending on your creativity. Still have instruction manual one can. So anyway, Sunday was well-spent though work was involved. Had nice lunch at Ning's hotel restaurant with another of our poly friend. then Ning and I went shopping and I bought an eye shadow brush. Then we walked to Wisma, shopped around and ruched over to Heeren where I got to work. Ning bought a nice 'snow-white' look-alike dress that matched her white watch and white hairband. All in all, it was a nice and fulfilling Sunday.

Gal, I read your blog just the other day. So many not-so happy entries lehz and I have to read it off your blog lo... Sianz... I don't feel appreciated as your friend... lousy. Plus, you so long nv contact me some more. Don friend you le! Wo tao yan ni! (kidding...)

Anyways, tonight is an exciting night. Dinner with my ex-colleagues! BITCHFEST! Will blog more about it when I blogged more about it.

Lots of work... Ummuackz