Wonder Girl - Nobody -

Gary's Farewell, My pre-b'day & ZY catch-up dinner...

more to come...

really feels like something you would do...

tears...

''My Life has successfully been turned from mundane to pure torture...
Jacky Wu, CSI, House... its pointless watching them anymore''

if i tear, what does it mean? i never wanted to hurt you. never once was that on my mind. you know you are precious to me. you know you mean everything to me. i keep thinking about the pain i've caused you. i know it is difficult. yet i do have my concerns. i don't want you to fall sick. knowing that you're sick and not doing anything about it makes me understand more about the pain i've caused you. i know i'm selfish. all i ever thought of was for myself. to have time to live a life that i want. to do the things that i want. six years is a long time. i want you to understand that i have as much hard a time as you are having. i want so badly to go over to give you a hug to tell you that everything will be alright. but i know it would not help anything. i tear cause i know how much pain i've caused. i know whatever i do, i will never be able to make up for everything i've done to you. i try very hard not to think about you. not to acknowledge the fact that you're hurt. but i'm constantly reminded whenever i pass by. i no longer watch those shows. don't wanna be reminded. but everywhere i've passed by always seems to have bits & pieces of unforgettable times spent with you. i no longer eat lunch at the coffee shop. i've changed my jogging route. even the laptop i'm using has a piece of you in it. its tough to let go. i'm unsure if its the right thing i am doing. but as of now, if i still do not have an answer, i know full well that it would be unfair if i spoke with you. i know it'll hurt you a whole lot. i dont want to assure you that everything will be alright but i do want you to know that everytime you're hurt, i feel just as much, if not more for you. crying myself to sleep no longer means anything when the tears dry up. yet i'm reminded of it whenever a sniffle comes about. i love you. always will. i'm sorry it hurts but its something i have to go through.

...

melissachangehastogetaholdofherlife.bloodyhellgetagrip.shesnotweak.shesnottoletmemoriesplayonher.shesnotlonely.shesgottonsoffriendswhoaretheretohelpherthroughthis.shefeelshurtbutjustdon'tknowifitsrightorwrong.confused.shesdoingtherightthingisntshe?justtellherthatsheisandthateverythingwillturnoutalright.shedoesntwanttohurttheoneshehaslovedeversomuch.theonewhohastaughthersomanythings.caredforherwhenshewassick.cookedforherwhenshewashungry.ironedherclotheswhenshewaslazy.washedherdisheswhenshewastired.memoriesplayedonemotions.itsnotfun.itsconfusingme.ithurts.doubtfulyetsure.shetearsovermemoriesbutneverintendstoletthemtakeover.itsunfairtohim.allsounfairtotheonewhohascaredandcommitted.shefeelsbadbutdontwantguilttomakeadecisionforher.hasshemadetherightdecision?hasshedonetherightthing?shedidnotmeantocausehurttoanyone.yetshehasdoneitallthesame.nomatterhowitallplaysout.itsaloselosesituation.shesconfused.shejustwantstogetoverit.itsdifficultbutitsneverimpossible.aninnocentlovingman.oncetheloveofherlife.oncetheeverythingintheworld.lovebeingreciprocratedthroughdistanceandhurt.shedoesnotmeanitbutitwasinevitable.shesmadeherdecisiontomakeadecision.totheoneshesapartfromshestillcaresandhewillforeverbeaspecialsomeonelockeddeepinsideforallthehappymemoriesgivenandshared.shesreducedtotears.shemisseshimbutshestryingtogetoverit.workmore,playmore,thinkless.

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